Lowered Expectations

I've been really good so far with weight loss but I think this Sunday I won't be recording a weight loss. I don't think I've been eating horribly or anything. I don't know. I just think I'm starting to plateau already. I don't know that I'll really begin to loose much more weight without a serious exercise regime. I've never been able to loose much weight when nursing. I'll loose a bit from the get-go but then I'll go stagnant until I'm done nursing. So, I'm feeling like I'm due for that to happen to me.
I exercised twice this week. I don't know if I'll get another day in. Honestly, I'm just really tired this week.
And you could tell if you saw my house.
Right now I'm sitting on my bed with my squirmy baby and my adorable 3 yr old, just ignoring the mess. I'm so tired. Samantha did wake up twice last night instead of once, so that doesn't help. But I don't know. I don't think I'm getting sick. I think my busy week is catching up with me and it's getting really hard to keep active.
That's one of the hard things about being a Stay at home Mom, SAHM. Who's going to make you get your work done? A lot of the time I'm motivated by guilt. I'll feel guilty that Randall's worked hard all day. I'll feel guilty if my living room at least doesn't look presentable for my piano students. Sometimes I'm motivated by desire. I just want to see a clean house. Sometimes I'm motivated by love. I enjoy showing my family I love them by them coming home to a beautiful home. But, most of the time: guilt.
Yet, right now, though I feel awful about the state of my home, I don't feel like doing anything about it. Is that truly because I'm just too tired? If I were at a job it wouldn't matter if I were tired. I would do it anyway.
But I'm not. And this is the way it is. And I had to be a Mom today and this never got finished. Now it's a good 8 hours later. My stream of thought is gone. I'm sitting with my hubby. I ate a lot of food today. I took a nap. And I'll see ya'll later.